A lesson learned.

  Just as I thought I was getting stronger, just as I thought I had accepted what is to come, I lost my grip.

  I learned a valuable lesson this weekend: too much beer and I become a sloppy, sobbing, devastated wreck.

  That's to be expected though, no? I've seen alcohol bring out the absolute worst in people. I've done my own time in that dark, hidden place in those intoxicated depths of the mind.. but this time was rough. I still have some growing to do. I'm still hurting, somewhere. And I'm certainly aware now that I have limits, and I'll need to be careful if/when I drink again.

  And yesterday, as I spent the day recovering - skinned, bruised knees, sore muscles, one wicked hangover - and regretting, feeling mortified at my actions (which I can still barely remember), Sean was nothing but supportive, forgiving, reassuring. I am reminded everyday, and especially during times like these, that I am truly the luckiest woman. My husband loves me. Unconditionally. Infinitely. His devotion knows no ends. And I am always, always grateful for him. He's my light, my source. Sean, I love you. Thank you.

  In other news, I've taken the first half of my GED exams. The next half is scheduled for June 15 (we see mewithoutYou that night!). It feels good to finally, finally be doing this. I've procrastinated for too long. Hopefully, once I apply for financial aid and a grant or two, I'll be enrolling in some college courses here. I honestly do miss the classroom environment, my mind has been craving new knowledge. I hope everything goes smoothly when that time comes.

  We're planning out what we're going to do during the few weeks of leave he has next month. I've been told Enchanted Rock and Fredericksburg are super fun, and Corpus Christi/San Pedro for beach bumming. Truthfully, we could spend everyday here, at home, lounging around and playing video games and I wouldn't mind, not for a second. But, being the adventurers that we are, looks like we'll be going on some day trips. And I'm perfectly excited about doing that, too.

Constant Reminders

I am an army wife. You probably wouldn't guess it upon meeting me. You probably wouldn't believe it if you knew me in my adolescence. And though I wear the title proudly, I'm probably further removed than most from the actual military aspect of it. I haven't made an attempt at meeting the FRG out here yet. I don't go to Ft. Hood very often, if at all. We don't participate in family events there, and we haven't made friends with anyone in Sean's new unit. I suppose I'm trying to live life as close to a civilian as possible, but the Army is never far from me. I am constantly reminded of what Sean does, what we do, what the future may hold for us. Especially here, at home.

Neither of us are into this, yet here it is. Issued to us by.. you guess it.

I gave Sean his latest haircut with these. He needs one about every two weeks or so.

Our good friend, Brandon Kelly, gave me this bear last year. He's stationed in South Korea now. We miss you, Chocolate Bear.

This is our second bedroom, otherwise known as the Army room. It's far more organized now than it was only two weeks ago, when you couldn't even find the carpet. In here are all kinds of issued goods from Sean's last deployment and for the upcoming one. Necessary things and (of course) tons of unnecessary things.

Always something. It's not just a job. They won't allow it to be anything less than your life.