For your eyes.

 I haven't posted any pictures lately, so I present you with these:

 Introducing, 'Lifelines'. Obviously, it's in it's early stages. Very early. The plan is this: here are two very detailed maps, one of North America, and one of Europe. I'm going to trace my path through life with yarn. Starting from where I was born to where I live now, with every major stop along the way. I'm going to do the same with Sean's path. Our yarns will intertwine in Germany, and we'll follow them through the past year up to now. I'm going to keep this going, believe it or not, throughout our entire lives. I can't wait to update on my progress.

 The states. It's freaking huge. Total pain in my ass to put up.

Europe. It's so detailed. We'll be able to pinpoint our exact locations, though everything.

 This is something Sean left me just a few weeks before he deployed. It remains where I originally found it: the corner of the mirror in the downstairs bathroom. Everytime I check my reflection before leaving the house, I see this. And I smile.

I see this every morning, every night. He supports me still, even from so far away.

I send them off.

I haven't made a picture post in a while, so I've taken a few this week with the intent of sharing them with you and with Sean. So, pictures first, words after.

This is a beer my neighbor, Bryan, brought over for me. Him and his girl had gotten a 6-pack of these and just didn't like them at all. He knows I love coffee, and I love beer.. so here it is. I'll admit, it was strange at first.. but after the first one, I really started to enjoy the mix of flavors.


Oh, Elliott. He looks so intense here, but I think he was watching the camera strap as it was dangling. He's getting bigger everyday, my little guy.


This is most of the stuff I got for him at HEB over the weekend. Lots of snacks and drink powders, and instant coffee. I knew he wanted the coffee. He asked me for some specifically, but little did he know that I'd already gotten him some. I pride myself in knowing my husband well.

Well, I uploaded fewer pictures than I thought I would. But you get the gist.

Today went swimmingly for me. It's been one of the best days I've had since Sean left. I walked to Star Co. and talked to my boss. Not only is he going to put me back on the schedule, but he's asked me to create my own 'ideal' schedule and he'll do everything he can to give me exactly what I ask for! I guess he really wanted me to come back, to offer me that kind of choice.

After we worked that out, I hung out there for a couple hours. I drank some coffee and worked on my scarf. It was really refreshing, being outside, out of the house, and doing something productive. I hope to continue to motivate myself like I did today.

After said knitting, I made my way to the post office. 8 lbs of goodies, all in one flat-rate box. I only spent $12.50 sending it out! I came home just in time for the best thunderstorm I've seen in ages. All in all, today has been beautiful. I only expect it to get better, or at least plateau here.

As sweet as any wine, and as bitter as mustard greens

Another morning to myself. I've developed a small routine already, mostly consisting of coffee and emailing. But it helps with starting my day out right, so I can't complain.

I've talked with Sean online a couple times since he's left. I've been keeping my IM client running 24/7, along with keeping my laptop open and my sound up. My heart jumps into my throat everytime I hear the sound of a message received, and usually it's from him. And for the few minutes, or half hour, or however long we've been able to talk.. nothing else exists. Everything here falls away, and there's only him and I. I've learned what he's done the past few days, and just knowing, knowing anything at all.. it's a relief. He manages to make me smile, even force a few laughs out of me. Talking to him makes this distance seem far less than it really is. However, there is the inevitable end to every conversation, and that end usually reveals everything it had eclipsed. And again, I feel alone. I feel so far from him, so unimaginably far.

So, like an addict, I sometimes find myself making excuses to stay by my computer in hopes that he'll sign on. Yesterday, I ran out of smokes and forwent a trip to the store for hours.. but he showed up while I waited, so it was, in fact, worth it to wait. But I know I can't do this everyday. I can't use our communication as a crutch. I've got to learn that if we talk, we talk.. but if we don't, so be it. It's easier said than done, though, because all I want to do is hear his voice or type to him and know he's reading it.

On a lighter note, I was emailed by the FRG with a couple links to some websites, which are maintained by a large group of supporters that meet every single troop that comes in and out of Bangor, Maine. They welcome the troops, thank them, bring their dogs for the guys to play with, and (this is the best part) they take TONS of pictures to post on their website for the families to see! As soon as I learned what this was, I dropped everything to look through this gallery of 100 pictures from Sean's time there. I didn't really expect to see him. He'd been talking to me online during his layover there, and didn't mention anyone taking pictures of him. But, to my surprise, there he was. I found 4 or 5 pictures with him in it, and he was on his laptop (talking to me, presumably) in all but one. I don't know what it was about seeing him in these pictures, but it lifted my spirits. And he even looks happy in one, which, in turn, made me happy. Here are a couple of them (I saved them, of course!)

I'm not sure when I'll hear from him again. They're finally getting situated out there, that's as much as I can say. And there's an 11 hour time difference, and that's not making things any easier. But I'm doing my best, which is all I can hope to do.

He's just a baby.

Here it is. The long awaited Elliott post! We brought him home on Friday night and wasted no time cuddling and playing with him. He's curious and energetic, and all the things kitties should be - including a troublemaker. But when he tires, which he always does, he's eager to cuddle up with one of us and purr himself to sleep. We are proud parents.

He's young now, constantly playing and seeking attention, affection, food and toys. He plays with all the cords he's not supposed to. He runs up and down the stairs. I have no doubt that Elliott will absolutely keep me occupied during this deployment, if not for those very reasons. I hope, however, as he grows during this next year, he'll calm down a bit and relax with me. But he's just a baby, so who can say?

Yesterday, Sean went to an FRG meeting. I wasn't able to make it, although I wish I could've been there. He brought home some more goodies for deployment prepping.

He leaves in just about 2 months. The weeks are going by quick now, far quicker than I had hoped. We've been going out on the weekends and having fun, but sharing our time with others. Not a bad thing, really, but we both know that we'd really rather be at home, alone, in eachother's arms. These nights aren't enough, these weekends aren't enough. I'm not usually such a selfish person, but I now find myself always wanting. Yearning for more time, just one more night, one more hour. I'm going to miss him so much.

Constant Reminders

I am an army wife. You probably wouldn't guess it upon meeting me. You probably wouldn't believe it if you knew me in my adolescence. And though I wear the title proudly, I'm probably further removed than most from the actual military aspect of it. I haven't made an attempt at meeting the FRG out here yet. I don't go to Ft. Hood very often, if at all. We don't participate in family events there, and we haven't made friends with anyone in Sean's new unit. I suppose I'm trying to live life as close to a civilian as possible, but the Army is never far from me. I am constantly reminded of what Sean does, what we do, what the future may hold for us. Especially here, at home.

Neither of us are into this, yet here it is. Issued to us by.. you guess it.

I gave Sean his latest haircut with these. He needs one about every two weeks or so.

Our good friend, Brandon Kelly, gave me this bear last year. He's stationed in South Korea now. We miss you, Chocolate Bear.

This is our second bedroom, otherwise known as the Army room. It's far more organized now than it was only two weeks ago, when you couldn't even find the carpet. In here are all kinds of issued goods from Sean's last deployment and for the upcoming one. Necessary things and (of course) tons of unnecessary things.

Always something. It's not just a job. They won't allow it to be anything less than your life.