Cup of coffee. Quiet morning.

Leave has begun!

I cannot even begin to articulate how wonderful it has been to stay up late, laze around, and wake up in the mornings next to him. And it seems that, for the time being, the stress, anxiety.. the heavy weight of deployment and work that has been weighing down upon us both has been lifted. Granted, it's only temporary, but this is all worth it.

As I've mentioned, we have a few special days/nights planned. Tonight, we're going to see Mirah! This weekend, we're going to Fredericksburg - an older, German Texas town with alot of history, B&Bs, breweries and German restaurants. On Sunday, we're going to The Melting Pot for the whole 4-course dining experience. Tuesday, I'm taking the rest of my GED exams (I aced the first two, by the by), and we're seeing mewithoutYou that night. After Tuesday, we're probably just doing a few days in Austin. Some hiking, maybe. Aside from that, we'll just be stuck at the hip. I'm appreciating this time for what it really is - our last quality time off together before the deployment.

Sean hates surprises, which is unfortunate because I love to surprise him. Tool is playing in Cedar Park on the 22nd, and Tool happens to be his favorite band. The tickets we looked at when we had originally found out we're way beyond our price range. He was disappointed. He'd even said something akin to 'I feel like we need to do this.' I gave him enough time to accept that we couldn't go, and even almost forget about it. Then I watched him open his laptop one morning to find the tickets I'd found on Craigslist. Needless to say, I've made my husband very, very happy. And we're going to see Tool!

In other news, we are now in season 5 of LOST. And I am rereading the entire Harry Potter series. And one of my best friends from my adolescence has moved to Houston, and I am truly looking forward to giving her a giant hug and spending an entire day catching up over coffee.

These boots..

Finally got me some cowgirl boots. I've been looking for a pair since we got here. I walked to a yard sale just down the street and there they were, just my size, waiting for me.

That's our backyard, by the way.

Sean's leave was approved, thankfully, and so was mine. We'll have almost two weeks together next month to do whatever we please. I'm planning some things. And I'm trying not to think about how soon he'll be leaving.

A lesson learned.

  Just as I thought I was getting stronger, just as I thought I had accepted what is to come, I lost my grip.

  I learned a valuable lesson this weekend: too much beer and I become a sloppy, sobbing, devastated wreck.

  That's to be expected though, no? I've seen alcohol bring out the absolute worst in people. I've done my own time in that dark, hidden place in those intoxicated depths of the mind.. but this time was rough. I still have some growing to do. I'm still hurting, somewhere. And I'm certainly aware now that I have limits, and I'll need to be careful if/when I drink again.

  And yesterday, as I spent the day recovering - skinned, bruised knees, sore muscles, one wicked hangover - and regretting, feeling mortified at my actions (which I can still barely remember), Sean was nothing but supportive, forgiving, reassuring. I am reminded everyday, and especially during times like these, that I am truly the luckiest woman. My husband loves me. Unconditionally. Infinitely. His devotion knows no ends. And I am always, always grateful for him. He's my light, my source. Sean, I love you. Thank you.

  In other news, I've taken the first half of my GED exams. The next half is scheduled for June 15 (we see mewithoutYou that night!). It feels good to finally, finally be doing this. I've procrastinated for too long. Hopefully, once I apply for financial aid and a grant or two, I'll be enrolling in some college courses here. I honestly do miss the classroom environment, my mind has been craving new knowledge. I hope everything goes smoothly when that time comes.

  We're planning out what we're going to do during the few weeks of leave he has next month. I've been told Enchanted Rock and Fredericksburg are super fun, and Corpus Christi/San Pedro for beach bumming. Truthfully, we could spend everyday here, at home, lounging around and playing video games and I wouldn't mind, not for a second. But, being the adventurers that we are, looks like we'll be going on some day trips. And I'm perfectly excited about doing that, too.

Fingers crossed

Good news doesn't come easy these days, but we received a touch of it this week.

Sean used up all of his leave days during this past leave/move in Florida and here in Texas as we settled in. It was a complicated affair, as we didn't know we were using them all up at the time, but were informed later that previous leave days had yet to be officially taken out. So here we are, left with very little (if any) leave time before he deploys. We reluctantly accepted it.

However, it seems that pre-deployment leave is more important than I thought. They're letting Sean go into the negatives! This means that he'll probably be off for a couple weeks next month, and that is truly a blessing. If this goes through, I'll be taking a week off myself. We're going to plan out some day-trips for hiking, beach bumming, etc. Much needed quality time.

Thankfully, this won't affect his R&R, as it's free now! By the time he gets back from Afghanistan, he'll have accrued a year's worth of leave. This is all good stuff. I'm a happy camper.