To-Do during the deployment, pt 1.

I've made a small list of some things I need to accomplish while Sean is deployed. I know as time goes on, I'll inevitably add more or change it all around, but the idea is the same. And even though I write about doing all of this, in hopes that I can and will remain happy all the while, I know I'll only ever be thinking about him.

- Knit more. I mean really take on some projects, and finish them even when I grow bored. My mother-in-law taught me how to knit with the two most basic and common stitches, and from this I can easily teach myself the trickier stuff. It's great for occupying one's mind and biding time, so if I incorporate this into my daily life, I can only see benefits.

- Ride my bike alone, anywhere, just to ride.

- Keep up my diet/exercise. I've already noticed a physical change and the confidence boost that comes along with it. I may continue to smoke, but I know I can stay fit while Sean's gone. Just the thought of impressing him upon his return with a smokin' bod is motivation enough, but I'm starting to enjoy the pain of pushing myself. I like this.

- Write. The blog is a good start, but I haven't written prose or short stories much in the past year, and I'd like to get back to where I was.

- Learn to cook for one. Healthy, organic, meatless meals.. for one. And learn to enjoy it.

- Meet good, kind people and surround myself with them. I've made a good start here, I already have a handful of people I am happy to call friends. I'm going to be picky, I'm not going to settle. I'm going to need support, alot of it, and I'm determined to find the people strong and kind enough to give it to me.

- Play MW2 until I'm good, good enough to successfully release some tension by racking up the kills. That, or just stick to Halo, in which I currently own.

- This is the most important one. I need to learn how to be absolutely content with my loneliness. I'm going to be spending more time here, at home, than I'd like to admit. Just Elliott and I. In Maryland, I couldn't handle the days I spent by myself. Here, I must. Admittedly, I've grown since Maryland and what I do on a daily basis now would have devastated me then. Weekdays, I wake up alone. I am alone until I go to work in the afternoon. And truthfully, I've been fine with it. But I cannot compare these days to the ones I face after he leaves. I've never lived alone before. I've never done any of this before. I can only hope that I can learn to smile, laugh, get through this. Alone.