Cup of coffee. Quiet morning.

Leave has begun!

I cannot even begin to articulate how wonderful it has been to stay up late, laze around, and wake up in the mornings next to him. And it seems that, for the time being, the stress, anxiety.. the heavy weight of deployment and work that has been weighing down upon us both has been lifted. Granted, it's only temporary, but this is all worth it.

As I've mentioned, we have a few special days/nights planned. Tonight, we're going to see Mirah! This weekend, we're going to Fredericksburg - an older, German Texas town with alot of history, B&Bs, breweries and German restaurants. On Sunday, we're going to The Melting Pot for the whole 4-course dining experience. Tuesday, I'm taking the rest of my GED exams (I aced the first two, by the by), and we're seeing mewithoutYou that night. After Tuesday, we're probably just doing a few days in Austin. Some hiking, maybe. Aside from that, we'll just be stuck at the hip. I'm appreciating this time for what it really is - our last quality time off together before the deployment.

Sean hates surprises, which is unfortunate because I love to surprise him. Tool is playing in Cedar Park on the 22nd, and Tool happens to be his favorite band. The tickets we looked at when we had originally found out we're way beyond our price range. He was disappointed. He'd even said something akin to 'I feel like we need to do this.' I gave him enough time to accept that we couldn't go, and even almost forget about it. Then I watched him open his laptop one morning to find the tickets I'd found on Craigslist. Needless to say, I've made my husband very, very happy. And we're going to see Tool!

In other news, we are now in season 5 of LOST. And I am rereading the entire Harry Potter series. And one of my best friends from my adolescence has moved to Houston, and I am truly looking forward to giving her a giant hug and spending an entire day catching up over coffee.

Aloneless is a word

I can't wait until leave starts.

We've both been on edge lately. We know there's nothing to blame but the pre-deployment stress. The deployment blues. A month and a half left before he leaves. We can only make the best of our time together now.

I haven't been distancing myself from Sean, no. I know that's not the right thing to do. I have, however, become more comfortable with my aloneness. Right, aloneness. I refuse to call it loneliness - not now, and not at any point during the next year. I'm not lonely, I won't ever be. I'm married to the man I was destined to share my life with. Not lonely, just alone. And lately, it's been alright. I think Elliott has helped, although he's a giant pain in my ass at times. He keeps me company, and that's something. I'm gaining hours at work. I'm making friends. I know I won't be ready when July 17 comes, but it seems that I'm becoming more prepared as these days pass. A good thing.

I am lacking something important, though. Beyond Sean, I don't have a friend to really talk to. No girlfriend to vent to, to get coffee with, to go to when I'm feeling my worst. I haven't felt the need for somebody like that, but I'm coming to the realization that this is going to be a problem. So, I guess I'm looking for a special girl now. We'll see how it goes.