I'm still here.

It's been nearly a month since I last blogged, and it's been bothering me everyday. Too much has happened too quickly, and here I am - still trying to register all of it.

Leave played out beautifully. Sean and I did some really wonderful things, enough to leave me with an overall feeling of content when looking back on those two weeks. They weren't enough though, but, when would they ever be?

Since, Sean has been coming home after lunch everyday. It looks like he'll be doing this until he leaves. Me, I'm in the middle of switching jobs. I've started working across the street from the coffee shop. It's a bar called Junior's. It'll be good for me, I believe, to be back in the serving life. I'll be working more, I'll be far busier while I'm there, and I'll make more money. All good things.

And to top things off, my search for a gal pal has come to an abrupt and final end. Eden, one of the best friends I had during my adolescence, has just recently moved to Houston. We saw eachother this weekend, and as unbelievable as it may be, we're closer now than we have ever been. It's been the greater part of a decade since we last spent time together, but we picked up right where we'd left off. And we've far more in common now than we used to, and far more in common than we do with any of our other old best friends. It's safe to say I have a girl. A best friend. And now, maybe for the first time, I have something - someone - tying my old life to this one. It feels right.

While this all might sound like peaches and cream, homelife begs to differ. The closer we get to the 15th (yes, Sean's date was moved from the 17th to the 15th), the more things change for us. We're changing. While Sean becomes stationary and prepares himself mentally for the next year, I become a child tugging at his shirt, asking to go to the playground. I am selfish. All I want out of this last week is to spend time with him, doing anything. I don't want to pretend these days are like any other. But how very rarely do I think about the struggle he's dealing with, and how (no matter which way I look at it) it's far worse than mine. And so, here we are. With all the progress I've made keeping my composure, coming to terms with the deployment, maintaining a sense of sanity through it all.. it just never seems like enough. There's always something. There's always something. So, I'm just going to keep my head down and give him anything he needs, if I ever figure out what it actually is that he needs.

Blogging may come slowly during this next week. I expected a lull right about now, to be honest. But I know when the 15th comes and goes, and my husband is in a desert across the ocean, this blog will be here. And Eden will be here. And Elliott (the little bastard) will be here. And my knitting needles, and my baking supplies, and my bicycle.

Sigh.